Thursday, January 22, 2009

More random bits of usless information.

I was recently tagged to come up with 7 Things You Don’t Know About Me by @tryte. Over a lovely dinner with @empirebetty, @greciangodess, @vmason and @jonathaneunice after completing my 7 things, I began to rethink my “things.” The conversation made me think about what minutia people would find interesting about me. What parts of my history are actually note worthy (not that I think any of them are note worthy) and make me uniquely me. Shortly after the conversation I was tagged by a high school friend on to come up with 25 Things. My first thought was…nobody wants to know all these silly, idiotic things about me and then I remembered that @empirebetty mentioned something about the silly little details are the interesting part, although she stated it much more eloquently. To that end I thought I would share these mundane details here, for what reason and to what end I am not really sure but alas here they are.

1. I met my husband on a blind date.

2. I pierced my nipples in college.
3. I believe in ghosts, God and aliens....well maybe it’s not an actual belief per say but I don't disbelieve.
4. In high school I told my parents a deer ran out in front of me on Wood Valley Rd and I swerved to miss it and hit the curb and messed up the tires and rims but I was really "necking" with a guy and was running late for curfew, driving too fast, missed the curve, hit the curb and almost hit a telephone pole.
5. I love the smell of coffee but I don't drink it.
6. Pulling out of a parking lot in Foley, AL I backed into a State Trooper.
7. I love to go deep sea fishing but I don't really eat fish.
8. I had 2 miscarriages and went through 6 years fertility treatments to get pregnant with my son....I went on vacation and had too many cocktails and got pregnant with my daughter.
9. The night I won my high school beauty pageant I was running late and nearly missed the whole pageant because I had just left my luvahs house.....I was smiling because I had a few cocktails and was physically well satisfied.
10. I never turned in a library book from the Orange Beach library when we moved 10 years ago so I hope you don't want to read Tess of the d'Urbervilles....I have it.
11. I delivered both of my children totally naturally and drug free.
12. I made love on the 18th green of the country club in my town....oh and the swimming pool.
13. I dated the preacher that married my husband and me....prior to our marriage of course.
14. I make lists all the time but mostly for the satisfaction of marking things off the list, it gives me a false sense of accomplishment.
15. I clip coupons and use them....not because I like to actually save money but because I like to get a deal.
16. I threw up on a date. Not on the actual guy but at the dinner table right back into my plate (and at my favorite BBQ joint no less).....and oddly enough.....we had a second date go figure.
17. I have never eaten lobster and have no burning desire to.
18. I never snuck out of the house.
19. I would love to have a boob job and liposuction.
20. I don't think carrot cake should be allowed to be called cake or dessert....anything with vegetables in it is neither.
21. I do not like turnip or collard greens or butter beans or English peas....I know not very Southern Girl of me is it?
22. I watch entirely too much trash TV....The Real Housewives of OC, Big Brother, Work Out and things of that mindless variety.
23. I have about 4000 digital photos on my computer and external hard drive that I have never printed.
24. I have had lots of different jobs since I started working at 16....Nanny, Life Guard, Waitress, Maid, Camp Counselor,Secretary, Cashier, Retail Sales, Mortgage Banker and Teacher. Life Guard and Mortgage Banker were my favorites.
25. I am afraid of heights but love to ride roller coasters.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

7 Things You Don't Know About Me

OK, I have finally compiled my 7 Things You Don’t Know About Me. I opened this up to friends and family that already know most things about me. Funny to hear how people view you based on their answers. On hearing I Blogged for the first time one friend asked if it was about cooking. One mentioned my drunken karaoke skills and another my ability to hold my alcohol which clearly conflicts the drunken karaoke friend. Of course there is always my propensity for concern about geometric perfection in my food stuffs. I can’t even mention the things my husband said; this isn’t that kind of blog. So now that I have posted these things….I will anxiously await and see how many unTweets I have to see if I pass or not.

1. I am exactly what I wanted to be “when I grow up.” Oh, don’t get me wrong, like any other kid growing up I had passing fancies. At one point I wanted to be an OB/GYN but then I had the misfortune to happen upon some movie or documentary or some such with an actual baby being born. That put the kibosh on that plan quickly and made me seriously consider ever letting my nether region out of its bubble wrap. At one time I wanted to be the first female to manage a Major League Baseball team but thought that the jock strap and cup made my butt look fat and I never could spit a stream of tobacco juice out properly but that was mostly because I couldn’t chew the nasty stuff. But all of those other plans were only things to do until I got to be what I always wanted to be, a stay at home wife and mother. When one of my kids asks me: Do zebras all have the same stripes? What does a real heart look like? Will you read me a story? Can you help us build a fort? How do jellyfish swim? Why does Saturn have rings? I love that I have the time to build things and explain things and read and cook and color with them without having to worry about being late for work or traffic or conference calls or deadlines. I have all the respect in the world for those Mothers who by choice or by force are doing it all. But I choose not to.

2. I consider myself a modern day 1950’s housewife and I don’t apologize for it. What I mean by that is…..I chose to stay at home and cook and clean and wipe snotty noses and taxi kids from school to karate, to coach T-Ball and do homework and bake cookies for every PTA and bake sale that comes along. That makes me the typical 1950’s housewife but don’t misunderstand we don’t have any of that Husband rules the house bullshit. I stay at home cook and clean and raise our children but I have as much voice and demand as much respect as if I was gainfully employed. However, if you come to my house do not expect Martha Stewart to live here, it is not always, ok never spotless. I have kids and it is very much a kid (and red wine spilling friends) friendly of house. While I don’t believe Martha Stewart is the actual devil I do firmly believe that she is a close relative. I happened to catch her on Oprah one day. For the life of me I don’t know why I was watching Oprah it is not a show on my trash TV viewing schedule. But I digress, the point I was making was she was demonstrating how to fold a sheet properly so your linen closet would appear neat and orderly and cute. My first thought who doesn’t know how to fold a sheet and then rebuked myself for being judgmental. My second thought was, why in God’s (feel free to insert any deity or Darwin as you see fit) name do I care if my linen closet has perfectly folded sheets? If you are in my linen closet then A) you are a close friend and you know that I am far from perfect and only care that I have clean sheets not that they are perfectly folded or B) I am dead and you are stealing my stuff and again I won’t care about my sheets being perfectly folded.

3. I have a potty mouth. If you hang around for more than say oh 5 minutes you will figure this out on your own. I know people say cursing is the sign of a weak mind but I disagree sometimes the perfectly timed F bomb is the most eloquent response.

4. I have been a lab rat of sorts. I was diagnosed with ITP,, when I was pregnant with my oldest child nearly 7 years ago. After 2 high risk pregnancies and years of failed treatments and being on steroids that made me as fat and as big around as a circus tent and grow as much hair in random and odd places that I could have been employed inside said circus tent I went the lab rat route. I have been on 2 clinical trials to get 2 different trial drugs approved by the FDA. In fact the two drugs listed in the Thrombopoietin Receptor Agonists portion of the Wikipedia article are the 2 clinical trial drugs I was on. Point of note…..It wasn’t that bad besides still struggling to lose the weight the only other side effect is that sometimes I taste purple but that’s ok I’ve tasted worse and the twitching really helps when I am dancing or want people to give me room while riding the subway.

5. I am unabashed fan of ‘70’s music. Love my Disco and don’t mind shakin my groove thing.

6. I am a poster child for Irony. When I graduated from high school I turned down a scholarship opportunity to a college in Boston because I didn’t want to live up here. I opted instead to stay closer to home and go to a small private college on athletic and academic scholarships. And just 8 short years later where did I end up moving???? Irony

7. No one in my family calls me Tracey. Everyone in my family calls me Lucy. I don’t know why exactly since it’s not my middle name. In fact, I wasn’t given a middle name at birth. My maiden name became my middle name when I got married.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

No Blog Blog

I don’t blog. While I am a social networking addict, I have never been compelled to Blog. I don’t think that I have anything altogether that interesting to say. Why would someone care what I have to say unless they are interested in knowing the exact pressure of the strike required to make that ridiculous crying baby doll shut the hell up or the best way to remove banana that has been smashed into the flooring of your van and then dried to the point of petrifaction or the best homemade play doh recipe or the best boogie man vanquishing spray or why Pixies have wings or if there is a Banana Fairy or why exactly the Old Lady swallowed the fly and why perhaps she’ll die. After all I am not burning up the literary world with my pithy, in depth, probing, emotional and heartfelt novels nor developing a low cost environmentally friendly alternative fuel source nor am I creating the next miracle drug that will make your penis larger, your boobs in their upright and locked position while tackling male pattern baldness, erectile dysfunction and obesity all the while making donuts have no calories or fat in one fail swoop. I would only be tossing my opinions into the aether for ridicule. And I firmly believe opinions are like assholes…..everybody has one and they all stink. Since I have been tagged by fellow Tweet on to come up with 7 Things You Don’t Know About Me, I have been compelled to do so. Those 7 things will take a while to come up with. Although by posting this blog I have contradicted my original statement.